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chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:Hey MomI’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.Love,Your Son.A couple days later he got a response from his mother:Dear Son,I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.When are the two of you coming for dinner?Love,Mom


BEST MOM

I’m crYING

chemicaldarkshine:

hardestcopy:

bijou1986:

A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.

About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”

He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:

Hey Mom
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
Love,
Your Son.

A couple days later he got a response from his mother:

Dear Son,
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
Love,
Mom

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BEST MOM

I’m crYING

(via animalprincess)

theobiwan:

clamjob:

ifollowbadblogs:

If you cloned yourself and then got a handjob from your clone, is that incest, homosexual, or masturbation?

its a sin thats what it is

I don’t know why I laughed so hard at this.

(via ponponpompom)

tacoarmy:

when u accidentally close all the tabs

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(via genuinewonderment)

i-am-mishafuckingcollins:

cordelias-coriander-condiment:

Who else misses Tumblr before it was this?

i have seen death

(via genuinewonderment)

pizzaboats:

THEY LOOK SO PROUD!!! LOOK AT OUR bABIES! WE MADE THESE!!! LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE!! HAVE U MET OUR BABIES YET LOOK AT THEM!! BABY DOGGIES!!! THAT WE MADE!!!

pizzaboats:

THEY LOOK SO PROUD!!! LOOK AT OUR bABIES! WE MADE THESE!!! LOOK AT HOW CUTE THEY ARE!! HAVE U MET OUR BABIES YET LOOK AT THEM!! BABY DOGGIES!!! THAT WE MADE!!!

(Source: stinkyqueef, via genuinewonderment)

(via purrityring)

newyork:

Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller in New York, also by Sam Shaw

newyork:

Marilyn Monroe and Arthur Miller in New York, also by Sam Shaw

(via purrityring)

spectromagiic:

djpaige:

But srsly though

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If you ever find yourself in a Disney movie

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And someone or something starts being mysteriously surrounded by lime green

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Stay away from the thing

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Everything lime green is evil

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Just remember that.

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Everything lime green is evil.

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(via darnni)

tsuthetiger:

the fuck outta here

tsuthetiger:

the fuck outta here

(Source: clupster, via sameatschildren)

paintgod:

"I don’t give a damn what men find attractive. It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same"
Pulp Fiction, 1994

paintgod:

"I don’t give a damn what men find attractive. It’s unfortunate what we find pleasing to the touch and pleasing to the eye is seldom the same"

Pulp Fiction, 1994

(via purrityring)


artist

artist

(Source: irikumu, via dantebacso)